


Life is Precious

by Rokun



Category: Angerme - Fandom, C-ute, Country Girls (Japanese Band), Hello! Project, Morning Musume., こぶしファクトリー | Kobushi Factory, つばきファクトリー | Tsubaki Factory
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/F, Politics, Post-Apocalypse, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:39:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5417411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rokun/pseuds/Rokun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of one last performance, the Hello! Project girls face mass destructive attacks that change everything forever. Feeling alone in the aftermath, scattered groups choose their paths to survival and perhaps even to thrive. Will they ever be able to reunite with all their friends and comrades?</p><p>There will of course be pairings, but as those who know me might guess, some might be a bit unconventional...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New World

Ayumi Ishida stared out from her perch atop the crumbled building, only her narrowed, tired eyes showing over the worn scarf tied around her face. It’s not that it was cold – in fact the breeze was quite warm against the spots of skin she left bare – but she hoped it would give at least a little protection against other, worse things than cold. 

The sea was visible from here, and for a moment she couldn’t take her eyes off it. She could hardly remember the last time she saw the sea. It looked so… normal. If only she could say the same about the ruined city surrounding her.

“Everything look ok up there?” a girl called up to her, bringing out of her nostalgia and back to the task at hand. She peered around, looking carefully at the open areas and rubble alike, and sighed. There could be an army down there and she might not have a clue even if she had the eyes of a hawk. 

She climbed carefully down the post fallen up against rubble from what had probably used to be the building’s third floor, before jumping back onto the dusty street to rejoin the four girls awaiting her below. She shook her head. “I couldn’t see anyone, or anything, except ruined buildings all around us. A couple still stand here and there, but even they look like they’ll fall at any second.”

“The epicenter must be nearby,” pondered a small girl with pointy canines who hung tightly to the arm of the other girl beside her. 

“You’re too athletic,” the tallest of the short group said, frowning up the pole to from where Ayumi had just arrived. “You made getting up that pole look so easy…”

“I suppose it was too much to hope we’d find something quickly…” said another girl in a weak voice, before falling into a small coughing fit into her own scarf as if even speaking was too much to ask at this point. Ayumi swallowed with worry as she gazed at Riho Sayashi, her heart clenching.

Ayumi was once again touched by the girl’s optimism despite everything, especially her own situation. Nothing at all had been quick about their progress so far. It felt like weeks since they’d left their safe house, though Ayumi thought it had only actually been a couple. They’d gone from shelter to shelter, foraging for any food and supplies they could find. Everything was surely contaminated, but there was nothing they could do about that right now. She glanced at the coughing girl. She was afraid however that if their luck didn’t change soon it would very quickly become too late.

“I see a few of them over there,” the taller girl said suddenly, pointing down the street. Ayumi peered in that direction, and noticed several figures wandering out of a building. They were human, but their movements were erratic, and unnatural.

“We’d better head out then,” she replied, and the girls started off in the opposite direction.

Two weeks. After who knew how many weeks and months in that safe house. She wouldn’t be surprised if it had been years. Two weeks of nothing but ruins and scraps from the stores and houses they could find a way into. At least they were near the sea now – they must have made their way close to the harbor. She wondered if there might be any ships moored there with freight stores left on board.

Of course it hadn’t all been wandering around. They kept a careful watch to avoid all the men they possibly could, but still they’d from time to time had to fend off a couple with the sticks and nail-tipped rails they’d broken off when coming across them. She’d hoped the radiation would have taken care of most of them by now, but it seemed to have just made them even wilder.

Not only had Japan and for all she knew the rest of the world been basically destroyed by the nuclear warfare, but it seemed the T-0 gas, or so-called “Man Eater” had also been released here. Killing each other en masse with atomic bombs hadn’t been enough; they decided they had to drive everyone crazy as well. Not for the first time Ayumi wondered why it had just been designed for men, but as before shook her head. The male mind was something she had never been able to understand, and the way things looked it would perhaps never again matter either.

Despite the apparent targeting of men in the war though, she’d begun to wonder if men were all that was left in the world. They hadn’t found something to help Riho, but they hadn’t found any other women either. She was glad the five of them had each other, at least for now, but it was still a lonely world. 

She jerked as she bumped into the taller girl ahead of her, who had suddenly stopped walking. “Maa-chan, what…” But at a glance around she saw what. She mentally scolded herself for spacing out again and not paying attention to her surroundings.

Immediately she felt a surge of excitement seeing the women rising up onto the rocks and debris around them, but it faded slightly when she realized how they had her little group tidily surrounded, and were now also raising weapons ranging from bows to a staff to the glint of steel. Her eyes widened. They had the look of tight organization among them, and she could only guess how they had obtained those weapons. On a more proper look she realized they were all young women, even just girls like them, and they wore a variety of clothes, mostly consisting of pants or jeans and some kind of shirt or blouse under a long coat. It seemed like a couple still wore seifuku though, just with the skirts atop the pants.

Despite the potential danger of the situation, she almost teared up at the first sign of any kind of civilization she’d seen since before the world ended so long ago. She was about to call out to them in her overwhelmed state, but one of them, the one closest and on the highest point with her hand on a glint of steel at her waist, drawled out in a bored voice, “Give us all the food, water, purity pills, medicine you might have, and you can keep on your way.”

Ayumi exchanged glances with the girls huddled up with her, some faces reflecting anxiety and others wonder. Ayumi opened her mouth once with no sound before opening it again to call out, “Please, is there anything you can do to help us? We’ve been wandering for days, and our friend is sick. We’re afraid if she doesn’t get help soon…” As if to accentuate her point, Riho gave a hacking cough beside her. 

The girl who’d spoken backed up a bit at the cough, and her eyes narrowed at them. “Didn’t you hear…” she began, but one of the other girls stepped up closer.

“Hey,” she said in a slow voice. “I recognize that one’s voice from somewhere…”

Ayumi turned toward the girl who spoke and was peering at her curiously. At first nothing registered, but suddenly her mouth fell open behind her scarf. She pulled it down to her chin in amazement. “Sa… Sakura?” she asked, astonished, and the girl’s eyes widened. Shuffling sounds indicated that the others surrounding them were reacting as well.

“Sakura??” Maa-chan nearly cried from beside her, and she stepped toward the girl. She hadn’t gone a step though before an arrow whizzed by just in front of her, its head clanging against the street as it struck. Maa-chan froze.

Ayumi’s eyes darted up to where the arrow came from to catch a girl quickly reloading a bow. That girl looked familiar too. “Ozeki-chan?” she breathed, barely audible even to the girls around her.

“Watch it,” another girl said, holding what appeared to be long knives in her hands before her. “They might be with those others.” _Manakan…?_ Ayumi thought, the name of the girl she hadn’t seen in so long ringing strange in her mind.

She looked back at the first one who spoke, who was now frowning at them. “It makes no difference,” she said. Ayumi recognized this girl now too, one she had known well – Nakajima Saki. “By now we can’t trust them more than anyone else. If we could even trust our eyes. Food and pills or fight, your choice.”

“Please,” Ayumi said. “Nacky, Sakura, you have to help. Riho…” As if naming the girl were a cue, Riho went into another coughing fit, this one taking her to the ground. Ayumi bent to comfort her.

“No sudden movements!” shouted another girl with a bow who had the head of an arrow pointed straight at her. 

“Riho… Sayashi?” Sakura said, stepping closer. 

“Oda…” Nakajima warned, and the girl glanced back at her. The older girl’s eyes were still on Ayumi, though she studied Riho as well. “This is your last chance,” she said again, in a low voice.

Ayumi felt like crying. Not only had they found other people, sane people, but they were some of her former comrades. The situation didn’t register with her. She felt the two girls with linked arms kneel down beside her as well, now huddled against each other even closer. “I don’t think they’re listening to us,” Meimi Tamura said in a low voice. “It’s like they don’t remember… or they’ve changed. Hell, what hasn’t changed about this world?”

“What do we do?” Karin Miyamoto asked from beside her. “If we have to fight…” she glanced with worry at the still-coughing girl. Spots of blood now dotted the hand Riho held in front of her mouth.

Now almost too overwhelmed to think, Ayumi’s face tightened and she stood up, leaving Riho in the hands of the other two. She faced Nakajima. “We need medicine,” she stated plainly, dark eyes staring hard at the girl above her. “If you have any then please help, if not… we’ll keep searching.”

The girl nodded down to Sakura, who made her way down the rubble toward them. Once on the street, she drew the weapon at her waist that had been glinting in the light. It appeared to be a small sword of some kind. Ayumi’s breath caught, and the girl reached out to her as she closed in.

“No!” she heard Maa-chan cry, and then things happened very quickly.

Rather than Sakura, it seemed Maachan was crying at one of the girls at Ayumi’s feet. Mei jumped up, her long stick flashing, and it knocked Sakura’s hand away, making her stumble. There was a shout from above, and an arrow flashed by between Ayumi and Mei and the stumbling girl in front of them. Maa-chan froze again in her advance toward them, holding her fingers up to her neck where a thin line of blood was beginning to show.

Ayumi heard the sound of steel being unsheathed, and girls jumping toward them. _“RUN!!!”_ she shouted on instinct in the otherwise hopeless situation, and she grabbed Meimi from beside her as she launched off toward where she thought there might be a gap to freedom. 

She quickly lost the grip on the girl behind her – she was easily the fastest among them, even though Mei was far from slow – and ran with all her strength. From time to time she thought she felt or heard an arrow flying past nearby, but thankfully nothing seemed to hit either her or the girl with her. After a moment she took the risk to glance back, and found Mei hot on her heels. She was momentarily relieved to see the girl also dragging Karin behind her, but her stomach dropped when past that she only saw barefaced girls with long coats chasing at a distance. 

Of course. There was no way Riho could have run after them. Surely Maa-chan could have though… _“Maa-chan, you stupid, stupid girl,”_ she sobbed to herself as she turned back forward and tried to push herself even harder. She had tried to defend Sakura…

And Riho…

Her exertion didn’t allow her to really cry, but despite the heat of running through the warm afternoon she felt her heart turn to ice. _“I’m sorry, Riho-san. I couldn’t properly take care of you…”_

As she kept running, she only hoped that appearances might be deceiving, and maybe their old friends would help Riho at least after all. If there was any help to be had. For all she knew nothing could help her anymore.

_Riho-san…_

…

Riho finally gained control over her cough, and tried to regain some awareness of her surroundings. Fighting weakness and cold she was barely able to maintain her awareness anymore when not coughing, but when the fits came upon her there was nothing she could really do except just bear it helpless until she got through it. She had endured so much to this point; she could endure some more.

She lifted her head and looked around. Maa-chan struggled while being restrained by two girls, a short line of dripping red on the side of her neck. Two other girls were watching something Riho couldn’t see down the street. Riho tried to rise from her knees, but failed in her weakness. That last coughing fit had drained her.

Finally the two standing girls turned around and walked back toward where the others held Maa-chan, who still tried her best to struggle. _Fight, Maa-chan,_ Riho thought with all her strength, unable even to speak but trying to will whatever strength she had left to her younger companion.

“Well she’s a feisty one, isn’t she?” One of the girls who’d just arrived said, stopping in front of Maa-chan.

“Masaki Sato,” one of the girls holding her said, voice strained in her effort to keep her quarry in check. “She always was wild… somehow that hasn’t changed despite everything.”

“I remember,” the girl in front of them said. She seemed older than the others. She turned to Riho and frowned. “Tie her up. We can surely put that energy to use somehow. This one though… It looks like she might keel over right there. We also don’t need to catch whatever it is that’s killing her. Leave her.” And she moved to help the other two with Maa-chan.

However, the last girl from down the street stepped up to Riho, and Riho unsteadily lifted her eyes to look into her face. Her face bloomed in wonder. “…Sakura?” she managed to breath, though barely above a whisper. The girl studied her, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her lips. 

“Oda,” the older one called out. But the girl above Riho didn’t twitch.

“The cute and amazing Riho Sayashi,” Sakura said, shaking her head slowly still with that almost-smile. “For all I knew before you were dead, but here you are.” She looked Riho up and down. “From the look of you though, you might be better off dead.”

“Oda,” came the other voice again, harsher now. The girl continued to ignore it.

“That sounded like a bad cough,” she said, the corners of her lips drawing down again.

“Sakura-chan,” Riho managed with what strength she had left. “Please…” 

She didn’t know what she was asking for. She almost could no longer remember a time she wasn’t sick. After escaping that fortified concert hall and losing the others, the five of them had considered themselves amazingly lucky to find the storage cellar stocked with what at the time seemed an endless supply of food and water. They stayed there, jumping and huddling together whenever they heard another blast or sirens or distant shouts outside, until there were no longer any more sounds. Still they stayed, afraid to go out and figuring they could survive on the food stored there indefinitely until someone found them.

No one ever did.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, with almost no way to make the passage of time any easier. The girls had done whatever they could to keep their spirits up, singing their songs, reading and re-reading what little material they had with them. The food stores which once seemed they’d last them their whole lives began to dwindle. Mei and Karin withdrew into each other, seeming at times as if they were the only ones in the room, perhaps in the world, and the three former Morning Musume girls kept each other company as best they could.

Then Riho caught the sickness. It started small, just some coughs and mild pains, but over time with no medicine or no change in lifestyle in sight it worsened, until it was almost as bad as it was now. Ayumi-chan brought the other two out of their constant idleness and argued that they needed to leave. Their food was running low, and they had to find medicine for Riho. They resisted at first, but in time they too noticed the food disappearing.

Emerging from the cellar seemed to give them all life again, and Mei and Karin came back almost to how they used to be, even though they knew everything they came across, even the air, was likely poisonous to them now. They wandered, Ayumi constantly telling Riho that she would take care of her, that they would find medicine, something to help. Now, Ayumi-chan was gone along with the other two, and Maa-chan was being restrained.

“Please…” Riho moaned again, her voice soft and raspy.

“Pitiful,” Sakura said, still looking down at her. Her lip turned up in disgust for a moment before suddenly returning to a thin smile. “To think I envied you once,” she continued, and Riho saw a glint as she raised a hand. “Here, you won’t ever have to cough anymore…” Riho felt pressure at her throat, and then sharp pain as the length of steel slid slowly in.

She lost her breath to bloody gurgling, and fell fully to the ground as she felt blackness closing in around her and heard what she thought was a scream that quickly died, before nothing.

_Ayumi-chan…_ a final thought flittered past the last of her consciousness. _Thank you for caring… for making my life precious…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing the end of this T_T I'll be happy if you did too (am I sadistic? lol)
> 
> I've put much effort into researching and planning this fic, so hopefully you'll see regular updates. I guess winter is fic time for me for some reason...


	2. Hope Within Desperation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I hoped to get this up sooner, but it's been a long week. Hopefully this helps set up the world a little better for everyone, and is maybe a bit more positive than what happened last time. Speaking of which, thanks for the kudos and comments so far! Anyone who's reading, be sure to tell me what you think!_

Ayumi stumbled down from the road to the bank of a river, not far from where it would empty into the harbor. When she reached the water, she splashed some on her face before leaning down and drinking deeply. The water was likely heavily contaminated, just like everything else ingestible in this hell, but she was past caring. She didn’t know how quickly someone could die from radiation poisoning, but she knew they couldn’t go on like this for long. There was nothing they could do about it now either way, except at least sate what thirst and hunger they could.

Mei and Karin knelt next to her, looking doubtfully at the water before their thirst got the better of them and they joined Ayumi in quenching it. Ayumi pondered the two girls for a moment. 

What seemed like so long ago now, they had been performing a full-cast concert with all the groups in the company for soldiers who would be heading off to fight in the war, a benefit their producers had happily agreed to in order to keep morale high among the troops, and keep up a charitable image for the organization. The girls were happy to perform; with the country almost completely mobilized for the war effort, there wasn’t much of an audience left to them except for soldiers.

Since it was a military show, it was held in a secure location that doubled as a bomb shelter. That turned out to be lucky, for them at least, since that’s when the atomic attacks had been launched all across Japan. The troops, and even their staff, left to respond while the girls stayed secured in the shelter. Normally youths like them would have been recruited to support the defense as well, but they had been designated cultural ambassadors, and were considered too valuable for other purposes to risk in any more dangerous activities.

So the girls stayed in the shelter, most huddling together, to wait until it was safe to leave. However hours, and then days, passed with no word from the outside. They had ample food with the military supplies at the shelter, but after a time some of the girls became restless and suggested they should go out and check on the situation outside. 

Eventually they decided to send scouts, and Ayumi and Riho, as two of the more senior and physically fit, had been two of the ones sent. Mei and Karin were among the others who went out, but they encountered a world full of nightmares. Destruction was everywhere, and bodies… Then they encountered the men, who had seemed confused but when they saw the girls almost immediately started running and shouting after them. The scouting girls, terrified out of their wits, ran back to the shelter. However it was too late; the men managed to follow them, and when they got back to the rest of the girls all they were able to do was warn them.

Maa-chan was the first to greet them as they returned in her excitement, but when everyone realized what was going on mass panic ensued, and the girls started running off in groups just trying to escape. Ayumi and Riho had grabbed Maa-chan, and along with Mei and Karin managed to escape together and find shelter again in that storage cellar. 

She liked Mei and Karin, but especially with the two withdrawing into themselves in their long months in the cellar, Riho and Maa-chan had become her closest companions, her only real link to other people. Now…

After they had managed to lose their pursuers after the attack, the three girls hid overnight until early the next morning. Just before dawn Ayumi led them on a different route back to the attack site, not expecting to find anything but holding onto hope. However, after hiding out just outside the clearing for a time to make sure no one was still around, Ayumi carefully entered the area… and had seen a small body on the ground.

Ayumi felt her eyes water at the memory as she watched the two others drink slowly. Fearing the worst, she’d turned the body over to find Riho face-down in a pool of blood, a hole in her throat filled with clots. She felt like a bit of her died right then, although it had been on life support after she’d left Riho to begin with. She kept trying to tell herself that staying would have only led to the same result for the rest of them since they were weak and had pitiful defenses compared to what the others had wielded, but it was no good. She still felt like she should have done something, and hated herself for running. 

The two girls she watched likely would also have been dead if not for her, but it still didn’t help. She felt more alone than she had ever been. The sight and feel of the cold body of one of her closest friends… With all she’d been through, it had still been a shock that almost broke her. Then again, maybe there was even more to it…

“Do you love each other?” Ayumi asked suddenly. Karin choked on the water, and Mei stared at Ayumi before giving a start and patting Karin’s back.

“Why… why do you say that?” Mei asked, giggling nervously.

“You’re always together,” Ayumi replied. “And…” she looked down. “I saw you kissing late at night once in the cellar…”

Karin finally seemed to control her choking, and the two girls blushed. “Did… did everyone…?” Karin began in a hoarse voice, but trailed off when she realized the only others who could have possibly known were Riho and Maa-chan, and well…

“No,” Ayumi said quietly. “I don’t think so. And I never told anyone. You shouldn’t worry though. I don’t think old ideas about who should date who aren’t really gonna make a difference anymore…” The two girls nodded, considering her words.

Ayumi sat pensive too, but she thought of someone else. She had wondered if she had possibly developed feelings for Riho that were… more than friendly… and seeing these two together had only made her consider it more seriously. She’d had all the time in the world for thinking, after all. But… well, that was something else which didn’t matter any more.

Mei’s stomach grumbled, and the girl held her hand to it reflexively. Karin hugged her and leaned her head on her shoulder. Ayumi gave a silent sigh, well aware of her own stomach gnawing at her. She began to wonder if she had helped save these girls only to now let them die of hunger.

They’d been wandering for days more since the attack, already low on food, and having lost the supplies Maa-chan was carrying it was even worse. All of them were more wary now of going into strange places, worried they might run into more attackers. They'd been traveling away from the more central part of the city where they'd run into the others, but were still surrounded by an eerily desolate environment of urban ruins.They’d also begun traveling in the night, finding a secluded place that seemed safe to hole up for the daylight hours. Even in the night they now sometimes came across other groups of travelers, or saw smoke and dim light in the distance which might have come from campfires. They avoided everyone as best they could – perhaps they would be friendly, but if they couldn’t even trust those who they thought had been their friends…

As time went on though their spirits and health had begun to deteriorate, from hunger perhaps, but Ayumi wondered if the radiation was finally beginning to take its toll as well. They would likely die if they didn’t get help somewhere, but they didn’t trust anyone else alive enough to come near them.

“Come on,” she said, and squinted up at the sky. Dim light began to glow over the mountain horizon to the east. “Let’s try to find somewhere that might have food to stay the day.”

“But–“ Mei began.

Ayumi looked at the girl. “If we keep on like this it’s not gonna matter if someone sticks a knife in us. There’ll be nothing to stick it into.”

Just as she was about to turn though, she froze as a large animal trotted up beside them. She prepared herself to be attacked, but when she raised her eyes the animal had just stopped at the water and lowered a shaggy head to drink.

With the dawning light, she could now make out that it was a horse. As she got a better look, she saw that it was also saddled, with large packs balanced across its back.

_“Ayumin…”_ Karin mewled, sounding terrified. Ayumi took a deep breath. This animal surely wasn’t alone. A stronger light now came from back up the bank, and she turned slowly. She could no longer run; she hardly even still had the desire to do so. She would face her fate, whatever it was.

Another horse was making its way down to the water, and figures milled around as if setting down burdens of their own. One of them carried a torch, which illuminated a young feminine face. By that light Ayumi could tell the others were girls as well. Then again, what else would they be? They certainly weren’t acting like the crazy men.

“Hello there!” the one with the torch called out brightly, and another girl with a torch appeared over the bank to join the others. Ayumi squinted. It seemed there were seven or eight girls total. Far more than a match for the three of them, even if they weren’t nearly starved to death.

The girl who spoke smiled, but some of the others looked at the three of them warily, shifting weapons at their sides. Ayumi’s heart began to sink.

The second girl with a torch stepped up beside the first, but she frowned down at Ayumi and the others as she studied them. “You weren’t drinking that water, were you?”

Ayumi stared back, and felt a flicker of annoyance flare up inside her. “N…no…” she said, glancing at Mei and Karin. The two girls huddled together a step back at her side. 

The first torch bearer stepped closer, and Ayumi wrapped an arm protectively around her two companions who huddled tighter as well. The girl’s smile slowly faded. “These three look like death walking. What happened? Were you attacked by raiders?”

“Yajima-san…” one of the other girls warned, but the girl ignored her. The name triggered something in Ayumi’s foggy head, and as she got a better look at her face she began to wonder…

“Haruna-chan, get some food out for them,” Yajima-san called out to one of the girls behind her.

Ayumi fell to her knees again. If they were talking about giving food instead of demanding food, it was already far better than their last encounter. Plus the prospect of maybe actually getting something new to eat… And lastly, she finally remembered from where she knew that name.

“Airi!” the girl shouted as Ayumi fell. “Help the others!” And she herself handed off her torch to one of those others and ran up to Ayumi, who began crying uncontrollably. “It’s okay, it’s okay…” the girl said, hugging her and stroking her hair. She bent to look into Ayumi’s tear-streaked face and gasped. “Ayumi-chan…?”

“Yajima-san…” Ayumi choked, sobbing, and fell limp in the girl’s arms. 

Some minutes later, after Ayumi had finally regained control of herself, she sat next to Mei and Karin in a circle around a campfire with the group of girls. Mei and Karin wore the biggest smiles she’d seen on them in a long time, but it seemed they still hadn’t talked to the others much while just sticking close to Ayumi, as if waiting for her to recover and still not completely over their distrust, despite the smiles. Yajima had held her for a few minutes, but then the two of them had taken over her comforting since Yajima apparently had to help the others get the camp set up. It seemed they had actually just gotten underway after the night, and were letting their horses have a drink, but finding the other three had changed their plans.

Her eyes finally clear, Ayumi watched the girls across from her as she ate some odd meat that somehow tasted better than anything she’d had in ages. Well, it helped it was cooked. Mei and Karin were on either side of her, each with an arm around her and resting on the other’s shoulder as they eagerly munched on the food themselves. The others either had some food of their own, or were patting down the horses.

Yajima – Maimi Yajima she now remembered – was speaking softly to another girl who looked familiar but she couldn’t recall at the moment. The girl wasn’t too much younger than Yajima, but all the others except the other torch-bearer from earlier were even younger than her. As for that torch-bearer… she gave a bright smile over to Ayumi, who couldn’t help a dreamy smile in return. She definitely remembered Airi Suzuki, who was her idol back when… when the world had been normal. Her smile faded.

Seeing Ayumi coherent again Yajima rose from her conversation, leaving the girl she’d spoken with staring stolidly at Ayumi and her companions. “Ayumi-chan,” Yajima smiled. “Karin-chan, Mei-chan.” She spoke to each in turn. “I can’t say I’m not happy to run into you, but as Risa-chan here has dutifully pointed out to me, I’d like to know where you come from. We’ve hardly run into any of the others, and had thought we might be the only ones left…”

Ayumi considered the girl. What she said sounded somewhat strange, but she couldn’t say why. “Well, after escaping the hall there were… five of us… who found a cellar…”

As she told their story, Yajima’s eyes widened in astonishment. It also caught the attention of the other girls around the fire, who were now all listening to her intently. When someone asked why there were just three of them now, and Ayumi mentioned Riho and Maa-chan…

“Sayashi-san is with you??” one of the other younger girls asked. She’d been interested since the beginning, appearing to want to talk to Ayumi more but staying cautiously reserved.

Ayumi lowered her eyes. “She was with us. We were attacked by… by thieves, and were separated from her and Maa-chan.”

“Did you look for them?” the girl asked insistently.

Ayumi looked up into the girl’s face. Of all the girls from this group, perhaps aside from Yajima and her seeming co-leader, Airi Suzuki, this girl she knew easily the best. “Haachin,” she said, using the nickname they used to call Haruna Ogata, also a former member of Morning Musume. The girl suddenly seemed to become self-conscious, and looked at the others, some of whom raised an eyebrow at her, before blushing. “I’m afraid Riho is… is… “ She swallowed back a choke. “She’s dead. It seems they killed her.”

“No…” Haachin said, her blush suddenly changing to shock, and she fell to her knees. The faces around them all turned grim. Back in their old lives, Riho had been very popular and well-liked. Everyone was quiet for a time as if observing a moment of silence for their fallen friend.

“I hadn’t… I hadn’t imagined,” Suzuki-san said, staring into space. Her eyes seemed to glisten as well. “We live in such a violent world, and so many of us are missing, but that’s the first I’ve heard definitively of one of us…” She sniffed herself, and seeing tears begin to fall from her eyes made Ayumi tear up again as well. “I loved RihoRiho…”

Yajima laid a hand on her shoulder, comforting her. “We all did,” she said quietly. The girls’ comments flared something inside of Ayumi. They say they loved her, and she knew Suzuki-san especially had befriended the girl, but nobody had been by her side for months, taking care of her when she’d caught ill. Whatever they felt couldn’t compare to… She shook her head. She was thinking selfishly, and she knew it. She’d gone too long without others to really talk to.

Yajima turned back to her, eyes hard. She had been the leader of Hello! Project, the collection of various idol groups including Morning Musume, and had earned their respect and love with soft kindness then, but Ayumi could tell that whatever she’d run into since had made her hard, too.

“You also mentioned Maa-chan. What about her? Did you see if she…?” She left the rest unsaid, as if she couldn’t conceive of the possibility.

Ayumi shook her head. “We didn’t find her. It’s possible they took her with them, I suppose.”

“Raiders,” the other older girl who hadn’t yet contributed to this conversation joined in. She looked up to Yajima and Suzuki-san. “That girl in the hands of one of those groups of… of…” She couldn’t go on, and her face hardened. “We need to find her.”

“Stay calm, Risa-chan,” Yajima said, though she didn’t seem to fit the words herself at the moment, still looking down at the ground as if puzzling out something important. 

Ayumi now recognized this girl too, Risa Yamaki, though she didn’t know her as well. She’d been from one of the other groups, and although she was similar to Ayumi’s age they hadn’t actually talked much. However, she knew the other girls with them even less. They were part of a group who had just been formed before everything they’d built up had been annihilated.

“Did you get a look at these raiders? Any kind of description would help,” Yajima asked finally.

Ayumi hesitated, unsure what to say. They still knew very little about what these girls had been doing, and the leader of the group who attacked them had been one of their groupmates before…

“Don’t you know!?” Meimi suddenly shouted out, causing everyone to jump. Ayumi turned to see the girl glaring at the others. “You’ve asked about us, and Ayumin told you, but we still don’t know anything about you!” Ayumi hadn’t been paying attention to the girls on either side of her, but Mei had adopted a defensive posture, with Karin tensing to match. “It was someone from your own group who led the attack on us! Who killed… who killed…”

Yajima and Suzuki-san blinked, exchanging startled glances. “I’m certain none of us has…” Yajima began, but Karin spoke up quietly.

“Not this group,” she said. Ayumi was almost scared by the lack of emotion in the girl’s voice. “In your old group. Just yours,” she finished, nodding at the two leaders. Their eyes widened.

“Nakajima,” Haachin spoke up, looking grim. Ayumi blinked. No, more than grim. The girl looked positively furious, which was odd, because she’d never really known the girl to get upset before, except in a pouting way. She’d always been a lively Osakan girl…

“No…” Suzuki said, shaking her head. “I can’t believe it. She’s maybe done some wrong things, but I can’t believe that she’d…”

“Are you sure?” Yajima asked quietly, almost dangerously.

Ayumi laid a hand on the arms of each girl beside her. The girls jumped and darted looks at her, but relaxed slightly. “Yes. Nakajima-san was there. She seemed to lead the group. There was also Oda-cha – Sakura – and Ozeki Mai, and Inaba Manaka. There were others, but I didn’t get a good look at them.”

The group around them now stirred, and Ayumi could sense a change in the vibe of the gathering. Suzuki-san still looked stunned in disbelief. Yajima oddly was gazing at Haachin, considering the girl quietly. However, it was Yamaki who spoke.

“We need to find them,” the girl said. “Ogata and I can track them, I’m sure of it.”

“We left them behind days ago,” Ayumi said quickly. She was torn between worry at running into them again and worry over Maa-chan’s potential situation. “I probably couldn’t even remember what direction it was.

Yajima stayed quiet another moment though, still studying Haachin. For her part, Haachin sat quietly, though she seemed to be stirring in fury for some reason. “We’ll look for them if we happen to hear anything,” she said, and the others looked up to her, many with disagreement etched plainly on their faces. “But we still have business to perform, and a schedule we need to keep.”

“But Yajima-sa-“ Haachin began, but a hand from Yajima cut her off. It appeared some of the rest of the group wanted to protest as well. 

“We must honor our promises. If we don’t keep up at least the illusion of civilization, and hold to our word, it’ll be all too easy for chaos to slip back in.”

Ayumi was lost. From quick glances to her sides it seemed the two girls beside her felt the same. “Yajima-san, what are you talking about?” she asked. “What promises? Is there really any civilization left in all of… this?” she finished, gesturing at the ruins around them.

Yajima stared at her, but it was Suzuki-san who answered, a small smile appearing on her tear-streaked face. Ayumi wondered again at the girl, how she kept her positive spirit no matter what happened. It had been something she always strongly admired in her.

“Of course there is,” she said. “You said you couldn’t really tell how much time passed while you were in that cellar, but it’s been about a year and a half since the sky turned to fire.” Ayumi’s jaw dropped, and she heard at least one gasp from beside her. There’s no way it could have been that long… “A lot has happened in that time. We may not have our beloved Japan back, but people have come together in communities, even if each are fairly isolated. Of course they’re all women, mostly young women, so we’ve all had to learn new skills.”

She paused a moment. “But you were completely isolated,” she continued, shaking her head in amazement. “I imagine it’s like very little has changed for you, with time basically suspended in that cellar…” Her face saddened, and she seemed apologetic to them for what they’d missed.

“It’s a new world now,” Yajima continued, still with a solemn expression. “Raiders roam and nomads wander, trying to survive. Some communities have come together, yes, but they have less trust for outsiders than nomad bands do for each other. Some societal attitudes at least have continued, though I wish they were some of the better ones…” She sighed. “We’ve been together since hiding out ourselves right after the storm, if not near as long as you. Since then we’ve tried to locate other communities, and learned to avoid the raiders… though we can fight if we need to,” she said with determination. 

She then glanced at Yamaki and then Suzuki with a smile. “Thanks primarily to the brilliance of these two, we’ve been able to establish a niche for ourselves, and a mission. Try to bring the communities together, however difficult it may be, primarily through trade.”

“Trade?” Ayumi asked, astonished. These girls had changed far more than she would ever have imagined. But then, if they’d actually been completely displaced from the world outside for not just months but years…

“Call us merchants,” Suzuki-san said, though both she and Yamaki had blushed at the compliment from their elder companion. “To use an old term. The communities have developed skills, and but in different areas from each other. They produce things that others need, and need things that others produce as well, but it’s dangerous traveling between – if they would even trust the other communities enough to visit themselves. We help facilitate everyone getting what they need.”

Ayumi thought she was beginning to get it now, but it still almost blew her mind. Here they’d just been huddling in a cellar all this time, while girls just like them had been trying to revitalize civilization all on their own… She was beginning to feel very incompetent.

“Can we get back to the girls who killed Sayashi-san?” Haachin spoke up, gritting her teeth. “We can tell them all about your pet projects later.”

Yamaki frowned at her. “It’s not just _our_ pet project,” she said scoldingly. “It’s the vocation we all perform. How we survive.”

“How are our purity pill stores?” Yajima asked Haachin, and the girls fell silent. The two eldest girls looked at each of the others in turn. “Don’t tell me you’re even thinking of withholding them from some friends we’ve finally found after searching for them all this time. Look at them. They won’t last long as it is.”

“The supply is low…” Haachin said, then looked at Ayumi as if seeing her again for the first time. Ayumi’s heart reached out to her old comrade, and she thought she saw the girl’s eyes begin to glisten. “But.. we have enough for now.”

Ayumi smiled at a connection she’d thought long lost, and for the first time she saw a smile come to the other girl’s face as well. Then Ayumi blinked.

“Um…” she began hesitantly. She thought she’d heard one of the girls from before mention this too. _Give us your food, water… purity pills._ It hadn’t registered at the time, but the combination with some item she’d never heard of was odd. “What are purity pills?”


	3. 気まぐれ Romantic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Thanks everyone for reading so far! Writing this chapter I realize that, at least for this story, my writing style has changed somewhat... There's a lot of backstory and set-up to create before the real meat arrives, and I hope it's not too confusing for everyone. For now, I hope everyone enjoys. Chapter 4 is already written, so that should be up soon as well! As always, please let me know your thoughts on everything. :)_

“Do you have any purity pills for trade?” the pointed-faced young woman asked them as they stood at a wooden gate in a three-meter tall wooden wall that curved to each side around what seemed to be an open area at the edge of the city. Wisps of smoke rose from inside the walls, indicating life and the first settlement Maimi’s caravan had come across after Ayumi and the others had joined up with them.

The woman peered intently at the girls in the troupe, and especially at the packs slung over the backs of the horses they surrounded. Those around the horses kept a wary eye around them, easing the weapons they carried at their sides. The weapons they carried were different from the wicked, bladed ones Nakajima’s band had carried, these designed more for defense and consisting mostly of bows and a variety of sticks and staves. The woman’s gaze lingered on the weapons a bit, but she gave no sign of what impression they gave her. Mei and Karin stood along with the defenders, side by side, Karin now with a bow they’d given her but Mei just standing with her arms crossed. She was far from unarmed though, the weapons she’d chosen concealed within her garments. She hadn’t been satisfied with having just enough for basic defense.

“Sadly, no,” Maimi replied, spreading her arms in a gesture of helplessness. “We have only a limited supply, barely more than enough to support ourselves. We will need to trade for more of them soon ourselves, I’m afraid.” She raised a hopeful eye to the woman. “I take it you’re not much better off? Might you happen to at least know of a good source for the pills?”

The first day after joining up with the others they had explained to the three new arrivals all about the purity pills, and it made Ayumi feel like she was in the middle of an unbelievable dream. It seemed a medication had been developed to counter the effects of radiation poisoning; before the great war it had only been experimental and not released to the market, but after the fallout when civilization broke down… some survivors had apparently stumbled upon the secret. 

After a bit of time, they had apparently managed to redevelop the process of refining the medicine, although Maimi and the others didn’t know exactly who it was, and the product had of course become a hot trade commodity being as it was basically vital for life in their new world. Ayumi knew now why Nakajima had asked for food, water, and the pills as if they were equally important. As it became such a regular commodity, it of course gained a common name, too; Ayumi was amused at how Japanese the name “purity pills” happened to be.

“Are these very expensive?” she had asked as their little train wound its way through the ruined streets. 

“You could say that,” Maimi replied. “That’s part of why we have so small a supply. They’re hard to come across, and despite all the communities we’ve visited we haven’t learned who makes them. That could be since, putting together the bits of info we have heard, it seems there’s only one source of new pills. What I wouldn’t give to find who it is…” the older girl finished, face tight and eyes intense.

A _harrumph_ from the woman at the gate brought Ayumi out of her reverie, and lifted her eyebrows to Airi at her side before looking back at the woman.

“I wish I knew so I could tell you and forge a contract for them,” she said, giving Maimi a twisted smile. “All we’ve heard is that they’re made somewhere in the city, though I don’t know how that can be since nobody lives there anymore. Well,” she added thoughtfully, “No sane woman, at least.”

This time Maimi turned to the two of them behind her and raised an eyebrow of her own. It seemed this was new information, but Ayumi wasn’t sure what to make of it. Something else she’d learned after joining up with the others was that all the civilized settlements had been built up either on the outskirts of the city or on the countryside, since the land was more arable there and there was less danger from hidden raiders or men, who still crawled all over the city. If someone had truly made a settlement inside the city, however…

“Then I suppose we’ll keep searching,” Maimi replied, smoothly filing away the new information and pretending it was something she’d known all along. “We do have many other items for trade though - rice, soup stock, cloth to start with. We’d be happy to trade it at fair value for anything you might produce.”

The woman’s eyes widened, and she peered again at the horses and the packs. “I’m sure we can come to some… arrangement,” she said, and nodded back toward other young women watching from within the gate. “We’re primarily an artistic community, with most of our girls spending their time making bowls and other pottery. Some are musicians too, actually. Although that does make it difficult to cultivate food…”

Maimi’s own eyes widened at this, and Airi gave Ayumi an excited look. “That… sounds great, ma’am,” Maimi replied, bowing slightly. “We’ve done our best to make sure everyone has at least the necessities for survival, and if I say so myself I think it’s succeeded pretty well, but much of the culture has been lost. It’d be wonderful to be able to circulate some of that around again. Utensils are also always welcomed.”

The woman nodded her head herself as if expecting no less, and at a gesture to the girls inside some began to bring out examples of their products. At the motion the tension seemed to drop between the groups, and the girls around the horses also relaxed and started reaching for the saddlebags as they peered at what the girls had to offer from within the walls. Others came up to meet those girls, and as they passed Ayumi and Airi, two of them - Kisora Niinuma and Riko Yamagishi - gave them looks before huddling to whisper together, if still darting glances at the two of them. Ayumi was used to this by now and ignored them, while Airi turned toward her with a big, toothy smile.

“Did you hear that?” Airi asked excitedly. “They have musicians! I don’t know the last time I heard music, or singing that wasn’t my own… I wonder if they have anyone who’d give us a performance if we asked?”

Ayumi smiled back at the girl. Airi’s passion for music was well-known of course, and she had been dubbed the star of the entire company before the disaster. It was part of why Ayumi respected her so much. And of course what had led to…

They had been traveling for a few weeks now, mostly keeping to themselves and enjoying what they could of their rather nomadic life, but always with the aim of traveling between communities trading goods. Maimi said it was rare for them to come as far into the city as they were when they came upon the three girls, but wondered if it was fate or perhaps just luck that they happened to be there at that time to find them. They’d headed back toward the outskirts after picking up Ayumi and the others, and not finding the trail of Nakajima’s band. This was now the second settlement they’d visited since arriving back outside the city. Therefore, for the most part they had just themselves for company. 

The addition of three new girls certainly caused a stir. Some were suspicious at first, but seeing Yajima and Suzuki relaxed and nothing but friendly toward them, the others eventually relaxed as well. That is, with the exception of Yamaki and Haachin, but Ayumi had the feeling their discontent was caused by something else. She wanted to ask them about it, but hadn’t been sure when would be a good time to talk about things that clearly bothered them. She thought she would at least wait until she and the other two were comfortably a part of the group… if they ever could be. Complications had arisen.

As the days passed, the others had begun to notice how close Mei and Karin seemed to be. At first they just attributed it to being scared, or to it being just the closeness of friends, but seeing the two almost constantly with each other and all their soft giggling and touches, eventually they started to wonder.

Ayumi had been used to it long since and didn’t even realize what the others were thinking, so when Haachin casually asked about them at campfire one night, Ayumi replied thoughtlessly, “Well that’s just what lovers do, isn’t it?” in the middle of spooning up her bowl of soup.

She kept happily drinking it a few more sips until she realized it had gone dead quiet around her. She looked up to see most of the girls staring at her with wide eyes, and the others staring at Mei and Karin, who also stared at her but with eyes that contained fear as well as surprise. Hastily she cast back for what she last said, and her mouth dropped open.

“They’re… lovers?” Haachin asked, looking between Ayumi and the two girls who were now clutching each other.

“Well…” Yajima said, and her lips turned up in a gentle smile. “I suppose that’s not so strange, is it? After all they’ve always been close, and well, it’s not like any of us are gonna find boyfriends anytime soon…”

The others turned to her, and some started giggling. 

“She’s right,” Yamaki replied matter-of-factly. “Why shouldn’t a girl fall for another girl now? Besides, girls are much better than guys even when they aren’t all insane,” she finished with a grin.

Everyone seemed to have come to accept it, but Ayumi noticed a definite change in the air now. For example, the other three girls - Riko, Kisora, and Ami Tanimoto - who were younger and more of an age with Mei and Karin, had been part of the group called ‘Tsubaki Factory’ before the bombings. They had been fans of the older girls before joining the company, and back in their idol days it was just a fun thing to do to “confess” your love for your beloved senpai. However, in their current environment it took on a different meaning.

Ayumi felt that meaning first-hand when Kisora had started to seemingly go out of her way to help Ayumi with things like getting her pack together or offering her food or drink. Ayumi didn’t think much of it at first until Yamaki pulled her aside one day and told her the girl fancied her, amazed she hadn’t realized it. Ayumi had blushed, and decided to certainly keep a closer eye on the girl from then on, but from almost the moment they joined her mind had been on someone else.

On their first night with the group they had discussed sleeping arrangements and who would share tents, since although their number had suddenly increased by three they wouldn’t have extra accommodations until at least their next trading stop. At the time the current members were sharing three tents - one for the Tsubaki girls, one for Yamaki and Haachin, and one for Yajima and Suzuki. They decided that for the time being Mei and Karin could stay with Yamaki and Haachin, and Ayumi with Yajima and Suzuki. 

Now, Ayumi hadn’t exactly been new herself to Hello! Project before the war, but she had also been a fan before joining, and the two former members of the group °C-ute had been with the company long before she joined. She’d loved them all, but held a particular love and respect for Suzuki… and now with her different thinking about the relationships girls could have, spending every night in the same tent with the older girl began to have an effect.

At first it was difficult for her, because any thoughts that started being romantic made her think back to Riho, but as time went on she became closer with both Yajima and Suzuki, and they became no longer like senpai to her, until the night after she found out about Kisora’s crush…

It was a particularly cool night, and when Ayumi shed her jacket and other clothes down to her undergarments for sleep she began to shiver. Maimi was still out in the camp finishing up the evening work, so it was just her and Airi in the tent.

“Are you cold?” Airi asked, and Ayumi turned back to her, blushing when she saw Airi in just a tank top and shorts as well. They’d seen each other like this every night, but with recent events tonight felt different. The older girl smiled at her. “It is a little chilly tonight, isn’t it? Wanna sleep in my blankets? That might keep us both a bit warmer…”

Ayumi stared. Surely the girl was just making a friendly offer, but Ayumi wasn’t sure she could handle it the same way. “Airi…” she started, and the girl lifted an eyebrow. 

“Come on!” Airi said with a giggle, and lifted her blanket to offer Ayumi to join. 

Ayumi’s muscles moved slowly, but eventually she managed to crawl over under the blanket. She could already feel the other’s heat. Airi moved as if to lie down, but when Ayumi stayed sitting up, she hesitated. “Something wrong?” Airi asked.

“Airi…” Ayumi said, looking into the other’s eyes. “You know I’ve always loved you, right?”

Airi giggled. “Yeah, I remember those days. It’s always flattering to have a new kouhai fawning over you, even if she’s too shy to do it to your face,” she finished with a grin.

Ayumi swallowed. This was getting her nowhere. That sweet innocence she loved about Airi wasn’t going to let her see her point anytime soon, and with the heat rising, Ayumi started feeling impatient. Abruptly, she leaned in and grabbed hold of Airi’s waist, kissing her on the lips. 

Airi squeaked, and the two girls parted. “Ayumin…?” she asked, eyes wide with uncertainty.

“I’m sorry…” Ayumi said quickly, looking away. “That was weird I know, I just… I suddenly felt like doing that. I’ve… been wanting to do that.”

A moment dragged on between them, but then she heard Airi give a soft giggle. “Well I guess that isn’t bad for a first kiss.”

Ayumi looked quickly back up at her to see the girl grinning. “You’ve never…?” 

Airi grimaced at her. “What do you think? I’d been an idol since I was 8, and for a lot of that one of the most closely watched ones as well, by the staff and the fans. And you see how things are around here…” she added with a gesture.

Ayumi continued staring at her. “But you and Maimi…?”

Airi’s eyes widened again. “Maimi-chan? Goodness gracious no. We’ve never been more than friends. Even if best friends, like since the war. Until Meimei and Karin-chan came I doubt any of us was even thinking of each other in other ways than that.”

“That’s different now…” Ayumi murmured, thinking back to Kisora. 

“Yes, I suppose it is,” Airi replied. Then, before she knew it, Ayumi was pulled in for another kiss, longer this time.

Now when Ayumi pulled back, she was the wide-eyed one. Airi just shrugged back at her, smiling. “Why not?” she asked, and started grinning again. “You already stole my first kiss… and I can’t say it wouldn’t be nice to see what this romance thing is like. Plus,” and she reached up to pinch Ayumi’s nose. “I’ve always enjoyed flattery from a small and cute girl like yourself.” She paused to think. “I guess it’s flirting now, huh?” She grinned again. “You won’t stop that now, will you?”

Now Ayumi smiled, and leaned in closer to the older girl. “Absolutely not,” she said, and leaned in to kiss her idol once again.

Since then the two of them had shared blankets every night, and generally kept close together at other times as well, if not quite to the extent of Mei and Karin. They didn’t talk about it to the others, but Maimi of course noticed almost right away. She always got this odd smile whenever she saw them together, but one night when they asked her about it she said she was just happy for them. Being a very genuine person, there was no reason for Ayumi and Airi to think otherwise.

Once the others found out though, it was a different matter. Yamaki just smirked whenever she looked at them, though also seemed a bit envious, and Haachin mostly just stared. Ami did that as well, but Kisora and Riko had very different reactions. Ayumi expected something from Kisora, and prepared for it, but to say the least the girl no longer often offered to help her out with anything. She never overtly gave any complaints, though. 

Riko however was a bit of a different story, as Ayumi found out the girl had apparently had quite strong feelings herself for Airi. So much so that she wondered if they went back to before Ayumi and the others had joined. She was almost openly hostile to Ayumi, obviously jealous of her, even if she didn’t act beyond that. She remained friendly to Airi, but gave Ayumi a dirty look whenever she joined them. 

Those two girls seemed to develop a connection in their envy of the two of them, and began hanging out together and whispering quietly to each other so no one else could hear. Ayumi had no idea what they would be saying, but she didn’t really care. She was certainly happy enough with the way things were, even if they never really actually defined their relationship beyond the comfort of companionship and their intimacy under the blankets at night.

After completing their transactions at the artistic settlement – the villagers had been willing to give a performance, and Ayumi and Airi happily watched them before eventually jumping up to join in the singing and dancing themselves; the others were tickled when they found out they had actually been idols - the girls headed back on the road, feeling happier than usual. Even Kisora and Riko had brighter eyes, and instead of their petulant whispering they chatted openly with the others. Airi and Ayumi had an arm wrapped around each other, singing softly to some of the songs they’d just enjoyed.

Before long though Maimi called a halt to their progress, and gathered them all together in a circle. Everyone peered up at her, and the two Tsubaki girls didn’t even blink seeing Ayumi and Airi still holding each other close.

“You know,” Maimi began with a smile, “I think this is the happiest I’ve seen everyone in a long time. I’m glad we found that village. We’ll have to make it a regular stop.”

“Yeah!” Airi said excitedly. “Maybe if we find some others like them we can start reestablishing some sort of musical and entertainment culture!”

“Right…” Yamaki said, looking around at the ruins surrounding them. “I see that happening soon.”

Airi’s smile faded, and Ayumi glared at the other girl, who just shrugged.

“Risa-chan,” Maimi said, “How do we expect to continue on if we don’t have dreams? We have to have something to live for.” The other girl’s face fell a bit, now looking at least a bit ashamed. Maimi sighed. “But you’re also right in a way. Our first priority still has to be surviving, and with an even larger group now, it raises the level of what we need to accomplish.”

Ayumi started at the comment, but Maimi peered at her intently. “I’m not by any means saying you’re a burden. In fact, I believe with numbers comes strength. Especially these days, we can never be surrounded by too many people we can trust.” Ayumi smiled at her in gratitude, and felt Airi’s arm tighten around her waist. 

“That said,” Maimi continued, “We still need to be able to provide for everyone. That’s why… I think we should go back into the city.”

That caused quite a bit of commotion, though Ayumi and Airi stayed silent. Mei and Karin did too, and Ayumi thought it was because like her, they just still didn’t fully understand the world as it was now. Everyone they’d met so far had been anxious at any mention of heading back into the city, as if they would try to avoid it at all costs. 

After the commotion died down a bit, Maimi spoke up again. “We’re always running low on purity pills, and need to find a way to get a steadier supply. You heard the girl at the last village. Perhaps the source is in the city somewhere. If we’re going to survive in this world, much less remain successful trader merchants, we need to be able to have a reliable source of something that’s such a necessity.”

“But that’s just another of hundreds of rumors we’ve heard,” Haachin argued. “How do we know it isn’t just a wild goose chase?”

“That’s possible,” Maimi said, her gaze intense and level. “However, there might be other reasons to go into the city.” She glanced at Ayumi and Mei and Karin. “The last time we went in, we found three of our old comrades. If any of the rest are still alive…” However hopeful her words were, her tone reflected her deep-seated doubt. “Maybe we can find others who can join with us, or who we can join with, and help make a better life for everyone.”

“Or we could just find raiders like Nakajima-san’s,” Kisora said bitterly.

“I hope we _do_ find Nakajima-san,” Haachin added forcefully. Yamaki nodded. _Just what_ was _their deal?_ Ayumi wondered.

“So what do you think?” Maimi asked, looking around. “Is it settled?” One by one everyone nodded, if some reluctantly.

As a result, a few days later Ayumi found herself gazing up at tall, gutted buildings that looked like they might fall at any time, but must be fairly sturdy if they still stood at this point. Their travel through the city streets reminded her of when they’d first left the cellar, and she became glum thinking again of Maa-chan and Riho. _Maachan…_ she thought, _please tell me you’re still out there somewhere…_ Airi seemed to sense her discomfort, and came up behind her to wrap her arms around her waist. Ayumi couldn’t help but smile when she turned to see the toothy smile on the older girl’s face.

Suddenly Ayumi felt the air forced out of her as those arms jerked her back, and a moment later she felt a small burst of air against her face as an arrow flew in front of her.

“Raiders!!!” Yamaki called out, and the girls all rushed for cover. Ayumi dropped to the ground as Airi rushed to join Maimi in calming the horses and pulling them off behind an abandoned truck, and none too soon as screaming women appeared down the street, running toward them. Steel gleamed in their hands, and Ayumi felt a flicker of hope for a moment before she saw some faces and realized these were not their old comrades gone rogue. 

Still, knowing their own party was certainly not armed with steel weapons, she couldn’t help but feel they were at a disadvantage. 

Staying down low, hoping unarmed as she was that she’d be mistaken as already injured or even dead, she watched the oncoming women. However, before they reached halfway to them a couple stumbled and fell, and she looked up to the sides to find Riko and Haachin just visible over rubble, grabbing at new arrows for their bows. Her first time seeing them in action she had to admit they certainly seemed to know what they were doing, but at the rate the others were gaining they’d only have time for one or two more volleys.

After the next one though, the rest of the girls jumped out to meet the attackers, all except Kisora brandishing staves of various lengths. Ayumi wondered at first what the Tsubaki girl was doing until she engaged one of the women, spinning quickly and giving a hard chop to the other’s forearm, causing her hand to open and axe to fall. 

The others’ staves spun too fast to track, and Ayumi had to admit they were plenty formidable against the steel of the others. As the attackers began to fall back, she wondered how they had learned to use the poles so skillfully. Had they met monks or something in their travels before she’d found them?

She was about to get up since it seemed like they were winning, until more screams from down the road caused her to drop back down flat, and she glanced up in fright at twice as many women as in the original rush appeared running toward them. 

“Come on,” she heard Airi say in a breathless voice from behind her, and she felt the girl grab her wrist to pull her up, holding a short staff in her other hand. “There are too many of them. We have to run.” She cast a desperate look toward the horses, but Maimi looked back at them and shook her head, falling back to join them after dropping the woman she’d engaged. If they lost the horses and the supplies they carried…

Ayumi’s worry evaporated though when the roar of an explosion assaulted her ears.

_All the girls of Hello! Project huddled together in the dimly lit hall, the roar of explosions and battle raging outside. They looked at each other, feeling terrified and alone with just their comrades in the company around them. The sound of the air raid sirens returned as the explosions faded, and it felt like the world was ending…_

“Ayumin!” she heard a voice call out to her in her daze. “Ayumin!” She blinked, the present world came back to her, and she found herself staring into the face of a worried Airi. 

“What… what happened?” Ayumi asked in a weak voice. Airi glanced to the side, and Ayumi turned as well… 

There were no longer any charging women; instead blood and body parts covered the road ahead of them. It was like a battlefield, and images of the first time they’d all left the hall so long ago just after the war came vividly to her mind.

“It was…” Airi began, and looked to Maimi, who was staring intensely down the street. “A bomb?”

“I don’t know,” Maimi replied. “I haven’t seen weapons like that since…” Then a girl in heavy dark clothes and a white coat walked carefully out amid the carnage. 

They heard the sound of arrows being raised around them, but Maimi shouted out, “No!” and everyone was still. The girl down the road heard her though, and looked their way. After a pause, she began to walk slowly, casually toward them. 

Ayumi felt Airi and Maimi tense around her, hands on their staffs. Ayumi looked around, hating that she continued to feel helpless, until she saw a thin sword lying next to the motionless body of the woman Maimi had taken out. She darted over to grab it, ignoring hisses from the others, and lifted it unsteadily in front of her.

The girl before them just continued up the road toward them, nonchalant as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Ayumi now saw that she also carried a backpack, and had just fished something out of one of the side pockets. Then she saw her face.

“Hello?” the girl asked, looking doubtfully at the unconscious bodies around her. “I hope I killed the right people.” She raised her hands slowly in a pacifying gesture, though one fist was closed around something held within it. “You’re not going to attack me now, are you?” Then she blinked. “…Yajima-san? Suzuki-san?”

“You did that?” Maimi asked, her face tight in disbelief, and she nodded past the girl to the carnage down the road. 

The girl blinked, and looked behind her again. “Well yeah. There’s no one else here, is there?” Then she opened her hand, and Ayumi and the others gasped. She held a grenade. The girl grinned.

“Murota-chan…?” Ayumi asked, to another chorus of gasps from the girls hiding behind cover who hadn’t gotten a good look at her yet. 

Murota blinked at Ayumi as if seeing her for the first time, and smiled. “Ishida-san!” She looked around them at where the others were watching. “Are all of you…?”

“Yes,” Maimi replied, still looking doubtful. “We’re all from Hello! Project.”

Murota smiled. “Well that’s wonderful news! We haven’t heard about others in… so long.”

“We?” Airi asked, sounding hopeful.

“Of course,” the girl replied, her smile widening. “You don’t know, do you?” she asked, looking thoughtful but still smiling. “Well I don’t suppose you would. Not many know about us.” Suddenly she bowed. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Murota Mizuki, lead scientist of Hello! City.”


	4. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Warning: This chapter may be hard to read and painful for some of you... you'll probably hate me after this. Again. lol. For those who know my work you know it can get pretty dark..._

A girl gazed out the train window, a content smile on her face as she enjoyed the scenery like she always did. Blazes of light flashed in the distance, and mushroom clouds rose toward the sky, but her expression never changed. 

“Look, look at this!” someone said from the seat beside her, and she heard the noises of two other girls playing with something in their laps. 

“No,” the window-gazer said ethereally, her mind in a fog. “I can’t look away from the scenery outside. The clouds are so beautiful today…” Another flash and mushroom grew in the distance, though closer now. There was still no sound but the dull hum of the train and from whatever the girls beside her were doing.

“You’re so silly, Maa-chan,” the girl beside her giggled. “All that’s out there are mountains and hills and rice fields and blood and corpses.”

Maa-chan blinked, and suddenly the sky dimmed red as she heard rain begin to fall. But it was a clear day? She looked up and saw red droplets begin to appear on the window and cascade down in long streaks. She turned her head in the other direction.

Ayumin and Duu were sitting hunched, huddled together, playing with a small dog who bounced back and forth between their laps. The girls giggled, but although they were right beside her the sound seemed distant somehow. 

“Isn’t she so cute??” Ayumin said, turning to beam up at her. 

“I hate you,” Maa-chan replied evenly, and the girl blinked before giggling and returning to the puppy. 

“Aww, don’t hate her,” Duu said, now looking up at her as well. Her face was blurry but red, and it blistered as she looked as if it was still burning. “After all, I left you first.”

“I hate you too,” Maa-chan said, seeming unfazed by the girl’s face, even though skin had begun melting off. 

Duu’s smile faded amid the drooping skin. “But how can you hate me? I died looking for you, you know. So did they.” She pointed in front of her, and Maa-chan glanced down to see the puppy lying motionless in Ayumin’s lap. The other girl looked slowly up at her, face mournful as a ghost’s. 

“I promised to look out for both of you,” Ayumin said in a hollow voice. She looked back down at the dog.

“You did,” Maa-chan pouted. “And now look what you’ve done.”

“Cheer up, Ayumi-chan!” came a voice from the aisle, and she saw Riho’s eyes peek up over Duu’s legs as if she was sitting on the floor. “I’m dead now, but feeling happier than I’ve ever been!”

Then the head rose, and Maa-chan’s eyes began to widen for the first time. There was no body beneath the head - it was just a stub like one of those mannequin heads wigs were stored on. She now saw it was being lifted by someone’s arm, and another girl stepped up into her view, peering at the head.

“She just never shuts up, does she?” the girl asked, frowning at the now-giggling head. Then Sakura looked over at Maa-chan. “I kill her and she doesn’t shut up. Are you going to be like that too?”

Then Maa-chan began to scream.

“I said shut up!” the girl said, and tossed the head aside to reach over an apparently oblivious Ayumin and Duu toward her. “Shut…!”

_“…up!”_ came the noise to her ears, and then she felt a ringing in them as her head snapped to the side from a blow. She opened her eyes. She sat on the ground with something hard at her back, and felt pressure at her wrists and ankles. She realized she was tied up, and swung her head forward again dazedly to see a girl leaning down toward her with narrowed eyes.

“If you’re gonna scream like that, you won’t be sleeping,” Sakura said, rubbing at her hand. 

“Ah lay off her, Oda,” someone said from behind her. “I’ve heard you crying in your sleep too.” 

Sakura whirled around, long coat flapping around her, heedless of Maa-chan. “Say that again…” the girl said, reaching down to the glint at her waist. Maa-chan could see the girl beyond her now, who just raised an eyebrow with a smirk. It appeared she was sharpening a long knife.

“You’ve tried that before,” the girl retorted. “How’d that work out for you?”

Sakura’s grip tightened on the hilt at her waist, but before she could make a move another voice called out from the side. “That’s enough you two,” a stern voice drawled, and Maa-chan saw a third girl walk into the clearing. Maa-chan’s memory was starting to return to her. _Nakajima-san…_ Immediately Sakura’s fingers loosened on the hilt. “You’ve caused enough trouble with what you did to the other back there. Sato’s too valuable for that.” Sakura stared at her as she stopped a few paces away, but just gave a long, hard exhale and walked past, brushing the older girl’s shoulder.

Despite mentioning her name, Nakajima seemed to be ignoring Maa-chan. She gazed lazily for a time at the girl sharpening her knife, who was now watching her work but still with the smirk on her face. “Of course it would be easier if you wouldn’t egg her on too, Inaba.”

The girl’s eyes rose to her elder’s, widening with innocence. “I was just enjoying pleasant conversation. Some people are just too sensitive.” The name suddenly clicked with Maa-chan. _Manakan…_ she thought, peering at the playful girl she knew from another life.

Nakajima gave a cough at this, covering up a smile and laugh of her own. “I know you’ve scuffled before, but I’m sure you’d find yourself just as sensitive to her blade.”

“You just have to be pointed with her,” Inaba replied, turning back to her sharpening.

Nakajima shook her head, and then finally turned to Maa-chan. “Ah!” she said. “So you are finally awake! Passing out like you did, and looking half-starved like you do, I was starting to wonder if you’d ever wake up.”

“What’s going on?” Maa-chan said, still in somewhat of a daze. “Where are the others?”

“Others?” the girl asked. “Oh, you must mean those who were with you. I’m very curious about them, you know. Half-starved, but certainly able to run quite fast. Then again they’d always been some of the quickest ones…”

Maa-chan shook her head slowly trying to unfog it. Others… that’s right. Ayumin and Sayashi-san, and Mei and Karin-chan… It felt like she was forgetting something, though.

“Well now you’re awake, we can get some food into you,” Nakajima said. “We took everything you were carrying, of course, if you could call that food - where did you get it, anyway? - but we have plenty of rations. Ozeki!” She called out into the darkness. “Bring some food and water!” Then she turned back to Maa-chan, and frowned. “Speaking of which, I’d be very curious to hear where you’re from, but I’m not sure you’re in any condition to talk now.” She raised an eyebrow. “I wonder if you even remember why you’re here?” 

Maa-chan just stared at her.

The older girl sighed. “Oh well. We have time.” And she began to stride away. “Time is just about everything we have in this gods forsaken world, anyway…” she grumbled under her breath as she left.

Maa-chan blinked after her, then turned to the remaining girl, who appeared done with her work and peered at the blade before stowing it away at her belt. Then she looked at Maa-chan. “Don’t mind her,” the girl smiled, and it seemed genuine. “She’s just bitter at the world as it is. I don’t think she enjoys all the little things that life still offers!” 

She walked up to Maa-chan and bent to check her wrists. Maa-chan felt ropes tug around them. “I suppose you’re too weak to fight if we cut these to let you eat, right?” she asked, and slipped out a knife to lower to her wrists. Maa-chan jumped at first, but the girl held her still as she cut at the ropes. Eventually they fell off, and Maa-chan brought her hands in front of her to rub at the light redness of her wrists.

“You’re being nice to me,” she said blankly.

Inaba’s eyebrows rose. “Why shouldn’t I be? You’re the first old friend aside from this lot I’ve been able to talk to in ages. Don’t you remember me?”

“I remember you, Manakan,” Maa-chan said in a small voice, and the other’s smiled widened.

“Well,” she said. “It’s certainly been a while since anyone’s called me that. Inaba this, ‘girl’ that… Everyone here is capable, but they could certainly be a bit more polite.”

“Are you harassing our guest, Manaka-chan?” a new arrival asked, striding into the clearing. Maa-chan jumped at first at the smooth motion which almost looked like a man or boy, but she realized it was just a slim girl with long legs. She was also not wearing one of those coats, instead just going with a t-shirt tucked into jeans with a broad leather belt. 

“As if you’re one to talk,” Inaba said with a grimace, and the other knelt down in front of Maa-chan. She now noticed the girl had a small plate of food in her hands. 

“I don’t know what on earth you mean,” the much younger girl said innocently, and offered the plate to Maa-chan with a toothy grin. “Here. You’ve gotta be hungry.”

Maa-chan looked between the two of them anxiously, but the girl waited patiently with the plate. Her smile quivered. “Don’t worry. If we didn’t want to keep you alive we could have slit your throat while you slept. By the look of your supplies, I bet this’ll be the best food you’ve had in a long time.”

Maa-chan blinked at the language, but slowly reached out to take the plate. Once she did, she gave the food a careful look before digging into it. The girl was right; it tasted fresh, and warm since it was actually cooked. As she ate, Inaba headed back to her seat but the other girl just sat back on her haunches.

Maa-chan paused a moment while chewing vigorously to consider the girl in front of her. “Ozeki-chan?” she asked, and the girl’s smile brightened. 

“In the flesh,” the other replied with a flourish. She remembered Mai Ozeki from back then as well, and that she and Inaba had actually been in the same group. It was no wonder they still seemed to get along well now.

“Where am I?” she asked, with a glance down at the rope still tying her ankles. 

Ozeki looked around. “Well, I can’t really say where we are now… though we’ve headed back to the outskirts of the Fukuoka ruins. It seems what we heard was right, and there aren’t too many travelers in the city center anymore. Though of course we weren’t able to explore it all…” She raised an eyebrow at Inaba, and the two shared a glance which hinted at something secret between them.

“Why am I tied up?” Maa-chan asked, more quietly this time. 

“Ah,” the young girl replied. “As to that…” She glanced down at the ropes at her ankles. “We’re still not sure of your allegiances, you know.”

“Allegiances?” Maa-chan asked, and Ozeki peered into her face curiously.

“How much do you remember?” she asked.

“About what?” Maa-chan replied. “The war?”

Ozeki blinked, seeming suddenly confused. “The war… oh!” She exchanged glances with Inaba again, who shrugged and lay back, closing her eyes as if she was going to sleep. Ozeki frowned at Maa-chan again. “It seems your memory isn’t quite back to normal yet. Well,” she said, patting the side of Maa-chan’s leg. “Give it time! Maybe I’ll come back later to help you try and remember as well…” she said with a grin, and rose to stride away. 

Maa-chan swallowed the last of the food hard, and blinked at the plate before uncertainly setting it down beside her. She looked at the girl across from her, still with her eyes closed.

“Don’t mind me…” the girl murmured sleepily, and Maa-chan assumed she wanted to doze off. She tried to move, but her bound ankles foiled her from being able to do much more than roll around. Besides, not… all… of the girls had treated her badly so far. She adjusted, lying down to the ground on her side. The food had also made her sleepy, but after just having woken up she didn’t think that she…

She gasped as she woke up from another nightmare of blood and bombs. She didn’t used to have nightmares, even in the cellar, so she didn’t know what happened all of a sudden. It was still, and she tried to take a deep breath as she sat up before jumping back as she caught the form of a girl seated cross-legged in the dark in front of her. 

“You sure have the most fitful sleep,” Ozeki said, studying her. “Always moving and twitching. Just like when you’re awake.”

“Were you watching me sleep??” Maa-chan asked, eyes wide.

“Yep,” the girl replied. “You’re cute when you sleep.” Maa-chan stared at her. “Your hair is funny all ruffled too,” she continued, reaching over to ruffle her hair with her hand.

Maa-chan recoiled. “What are you doing…?” she asked, taken aback at the girl’s odd actions.

“I still don’t like letting my hair grow…” Ozeki said, reaching up to her own hair, straight and down just to around her neck. “It’s so hard to maintain long hair these days. Manaka-chan actually isn’t bad at cutting it.” She tilted her head while looking at Maa-chan’s hair, which was down well past her shoulders. She certainly hadn’t had it cut for… quite a while, though they had tried from time to time to at least trim in the cellar.

“What are you doing here?” Maa-chan asked, peering around the girl. No one else was around except for Inaba, who now looked fast asleep on the ground across from her.

“Well I have a proposal for you,” The girl said, folding her arms as if getting down to business. 

“A what?” Maa-chan asked. 

“A proposal,” Ozeki said. She tilted her head. “Come on, I know you’re smarter than you let on.”

Maa-chan pouted. “Not with words so much.”

Ozeki shrugged. “If you say so. Anyway, the point is this. Nakajima-sama doesn’t trust you. She’s actually considering giving you to Oda, to find out whatever truth you might be hiding. And trust me, that’s something you don’t want.”

“I’m not hiding anything!” Maa-chan protested, then paused. “Oda-chan is my friend,” she said in a small voice.

Ozeki raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Maybe at one time.” She narrowed her eyes at Maa-chan. “Don’t tell me you still don’t remember?”

“Remember what?” Maa-chan grumbled, getting impatient, although that wasn’t something unusual for her. 

Ozeki stared at her a moment. “You don’t remember what she did to Sayashi?”

“What do you…?” Maa-chan began to ask, but at the girl’s cue memories returned. She started, as if punched in the stomach. Her dreams…

“I see you remember now,” Ozeki said quietly. 

“But…” Maa-chan stuttered. “That can’t…”

“It is,” Ozeki said, seeming to become impatient herself. However, she tried to gather herself quickly, and a brought back a smile the youngster probably thought was charming. “Anyway, back to the proposal. Like I said before, you’re cute, and I like looking at you.”

Maa-chan stared at her again. “What… what are you talking about?” She still wasn’t recovered from the shock of the memory returning. 

“I talked with Nakajima-sama,” the girl went on. “I convinced her that you could join us and be a full part of the gang. On one condition.” Maa-chan raised her eyebrows, and the girl’s smile widened. “You become my girlfriend.”

Maa-chan stared at her again. “Girlfriend…?” she asked. “What...?”

Ozeki frowned. “Are you really that dense?” she asked. “I want you to be my girlfriend. My lover.”

Maa-chan spluttered. “But… but you’re a girl!” she managed finally. 

Ozeki shrugged. “So? Girls can be lovers. Even before everything. Now especially with no men… but then I’ve always liked cute girls.”

Maa-chan blinked. What the girl was saying made sense but… she still had trouble comprehending it. The girl wanted to become girlfriends… _lovers…_ with _her!?_ “Why me?” she asked finally, wondering how that was the question she came up with.

“Like I said,” Ozeki replied. “You’re cute. You’re new. Older. I like older girls. I can’t date anyone in the gang. Well anyone else. Everyone’s generally out for her own interests, but we accomplish more together. The other girls and women we’ve run into…” She scrunched her nose. “Well, I’ll just say they’re not exactly very cute.”

“But I don’t… date… girls,” Maa-chan replied. “I don’t date at all. It’s gross.”

Ozeki grimaced. “Why does it seem sometimes like you’re really the kid here?” she grumbled under her breath, and to Maa-chan, “That’s the proposal, and the option Nakajima-sama let me give you. I really hope you accept. You won’t like it otherwise, and we could have fun.” She grinned at the end.

Maa-chan swallowed. Was the girl crazy? “No way,” she replied. There was no way she was going to date… or whatever… this girl, or any other.

Ozeki shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said, and rose to her feet. She glanced down once again, seeming somewhat sad of all things, and turned to leave. 

Maa-chan sat staring for a moment in her disbelief. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Then she remembered what else the girl had said. Nakajima would “let Oda have her”. She was actually kind of looking forward to that. She wanted to talk to the girl. She looked around, noting Inaba sleeping across from her but silence otherwise, then down at her ankles which were still tied.

She supposed she could try crawling, but it would hurt, and she couldn’t get far like that anyway. Besides, someone would probably notice she was missing then and just drag her back. She wasn’t looking forward to that either. She yawned. Well, she supposed she might as well just lie back down and wait until someone else came. She hoped it was Oda-chan. She laid back on the ground, shuffling as she could to get at least a little more comfortable, and soon once again fell asleep.

This time she woke up before she knew it to the feel of something at her wrists. She looked up, and saw Oda-chan retying ropes around them. “Oda-chan?” she said sleepily. 

“You’re awake I see,” the girl said, giving her a small smile which didn’t seem to touch her eyes. 

“About time,” came another voice, and Maa-chan glanced down to see Nakajima there as well, sitting on the ground just off to the side. “You sure sleep a lot.”

“But I keep waking up…” Maa-chan said drearily, as she felt her arms being pulled slightly as Oda-chan tightened the ropes.

“There,” the girl said, and rose to stand. However, she leaned back down right away to grab the ropes at her wrists, and lifted. She seemed to struggle a bit with Maa-chan’s weight, but eventually she reached up and hung the ropes over a hook hanging above, forcing Maa-chan up to her tip-toes. “Ha!” the girl said. “The height is just right! Told you,” she called behind her to the older seated girl, who snorted.

Maa-chan was quickly becoming uncomfortable in this stretched position. “Mmm…” she said. “This hurts.” She looked up at the hook above her. “Can you let me down?”

“That depends on you,” Nakajima said, standing now to walk in front of her and peer up into her face. “What were you doing before we found you?”

Maa-chan pulled at the ropes, trying to come down to the soles of her feet, but they wouldn’t budge. It was more than uncomfortable - her arms were starting to feel stressed, and sore.

At her silence, Nakajima gave a quick nod over to Sakura, who came around in front of Maa-chan as well. Maa-chan noticed she had a short sword in her hand now. “Oda-chan, what…?” she asked, but gave a yelp as the cold of the girl’s steel slid up her stomach beneath her shirt. Oda-chan then tugged forward, and tore at her shirt. She sliced it up to the collar before nudging the pieces of fabric apart, baring her chest and stomach.

“Oda-chan!” Maa-chan cried, mortified, but then cried out wordlessly as the girl sliced a shallow cut with the point of the blade at the tender skin just under her shoulder.

Maa-chan began to cry, the pain in her arm increasing greatly with the cut as well as the extension.

“Now maybe you’ll answer a little better.” Nakajima said as Oda-chan stepped aside. “Where had you gone before we found you?”

Maa-chan tried to control her sobs. “We… we were just wandering around, looking for food, trying to find people. We didn’t see anyone but those men until… you…” She fell back into her sobbing.

“All this time, and you met no one,” Nakajima said flatly. Oda-chan lowerd her sword again, this time pointing at Maa-chan’s stomach. Maa-chan choked a gasp, but Nakajima stuck out her hand. “Leave her,” the girl said. “That’s all for now. We need to get some sleep anyway.” Oda-chan lowered her sword, looking angrily at Maa-chan as if the girl’s orders were her fault. “Get her off that hook,” Nakajima said, and strolled away as if she didn’t care if the girl followed her directions.

Oda-chan looked into Maa-chan’s tear-filled eyes a moment before reaching up and fumbling at the hook. Finally it seemed the girl got her loose, and Maa-chan fell limp to the ground, still sobbing, but cradling relieved arms. Oda-chan squatted down beside her. “I want you to know I don’t particularly want to do this,” the girl said with little emotion. “Not that I don’t enjoy the acts, but I liked you.” Then she stood again, and walked after Nakajima. 

Maa-chan sobbed and sniffled a little longer, before looking up to see Inaba still lying apparently asleep across from her. How could the girl have slept through all of this??? After a time, she cried herself to sleep.

She dreamed again, but this time they were performing on stage, all the Morning Musume girls smiling as they sang and danced. She smiled and sang and danced along with the rest, as if not with a care in the world. Then suddenly Oda-chan stepped out of the formation and flicked the wrist which held her mic. The covering fell off the mic, and a blade slid out. The girl then began walking unconcernedly around the stage, the others not appearing to notice her as they continued to sing and dance. Maa-chan tried to call out to them, but her voice was hollow in her ears, and the singing of the rest of them seemed to dull as if now coming from a distance even though they were all around her.

She saw a flash of steel, and one of the girls dropped to the floor, still. Maa-chan cried out. The armed girl seemed to do a dance of her own now, going from member to member, slicing and slashing. Before long, all the girls were on the floor. Disemboweled limbs and heads also lay scattered around. Maa-chan was now the only one left, the backing track still going on and the blurred-faced fans in the audience still shouting and cheering. 

She stood facing Oda-chan, whose microphone blade now dripped red. “I killed them all,” the girl told her, a smile on her face. “I can kill you too.” Then she stepped forward toward Maa-chan.

Maa-chan jerked awake, sweating in the heat of the night, even though her upper body was now bared to the night air by the torn shirt.

“I told you that you wouldn’t like the other option,” said a voice from in front of her, and she blinked to see Ozeki sitting there once again, elbows in her lap and chin resting on her palms. 

“Ozeki-chan…” Maa-chan breathed, and she began to tear up again. Her arms ached, and her shoulder stung where it had been cut. She tried to sit up, but couldn’t find the leverage with her wrists still tied. “Why are you doing this?” she sobbed.

“I’m trying to help you,” Ozeki replied, looking at her shoulder. Suddenly Maa-chan felt very bared in front of this girl. “This is a harsh world, Maa-chan. I’ve found it’s best to take advantage of what relief you can find.”

Maa-chan blinked at the girl. Despite her being several years younger than Maa-chan herself, the girl seemed somehow more experienced… wiser. She knew this new world to which Maa-chan had rudely awoken. Maa-chan was just beginning to realize how much she didn’t know. “Sato-san,” Maa-chan automatically corrected, but the girl just gave a wan smile. 

“If you insist, _Sato-san_ ,” the girl replied sardonically. “However, if you accept my offer, you’ll be my Maa-chan. And you can call me Mai-chan.”

“Your offer…?” Maa-chan asked in a faraway voice.

“Be my girlfriend,” Ozeki responded. “The offer still stands. You would then be entrusted to me. No more questions. Or…” she glanced again at Mai’s shoulder. “Other unpleasantness.”

Maa-chan stared. Her eyes looked toward the girl, but she was looking beyond her. No more questions… She hugged herself tightly. No more pain…

_“Ok…”_ she said finally, barely above a whisper. 

“Hmm?” the girl asked, leaning forward as if to hear better.

“Ok,” Maa-chan repeated, committing to her decision. The only possible decision, really, even though it also was unthinkable. “I’ll… be your girlfriend.”

A smile bloomed again on the other girl’s face. “I’m glad to hear it,” she said. She crawled forward toward Maa-chan, who jerked back instinctively. Ozeki paused, but Maa-chan got herself under control. Then the girl leaned in and pressed her lips against Maa-chan’s own. 

It felt like every muscle in her body tensed, but she forced herself to stay still. The girl’s lips were moist, and despite herself Maa-chan unconsciously sucked lightly at them as she realized she was parched after not having anything to eat or drink in she didn’t know how long. The other girl gave a pleased murmur against her lips at Maa-chan’s action, and she froze again. The girl drew away.

“Mmm,” Ozeki said, still smiling and seeming quite happy. “I think we’ll get along quite well!” she said cheerily, and stood. “I’ll go tell Nakajima-sama the good news, and then come bring you to my tent for our first night together… well,” she glanced up at the sky. “What’s left of it, at least.” She grinned at Maa-chan. “I hope you got enough sleep earlier…” And the girl nearly pranced off into the night.

Maa-chan laid still, not able to form a coherent thought in her head. The taste of the girl’s lips were still on her own. A girl had just kissed her… and it might have been her dehydration and current mental state talking, but she thought she had liked it. She hated this new world she was somehow forced to live in. And she hated herself…

“Want my advice?” she heard a girl say, and she snapped quickly back to reality. Inaba was now sitting up across from her, watching her. 

“How long have you been awake?” Maa-chan asked, eyes wide in mortification.

“I’ve always been awake,” the girl replied, smoothing her clothes. “I was set to guard you after all. Though I guess that won’t be necessary anymore. I’m glad of that. Maybe now I can get a bit of sleep.”

“Always…?” Maa-chan mouthed, thinking back to all that had happened to her tonight. Had it just been one night? She wasn’t sure she could even tell what was real or not. Even that girl’s kiss just moments ago now seemed dreamlike in her memory.

“Anyway, my advice,” Inaba said, standing up and stretching. Then she looked down at Maa-chan. “Make her happy.” A moment of silence stretched between them. “She really does seem to dig you, and if you make her happy she’ll treat you well. You’ll really be okay with us.”

“How do I make her happy?” Maa-chan asked, but the girl just stared at her another moment before wandering slowly off into the dark. A short time later, Ozeki returned.

The girl seemed to have a spring to her step, and still wore that bright smile. “All right!” she said, glancing around. “I see Manaka-chan’s left already. Let’s see what we can do about these binds…” 

As she bent toward her, Maa-chan became very aware of the girl’s proximity, and a feminine smell that seemed to mix with sweat. As the girl worked at the ropes with some knives she produced from within her own clothes, Maa-chan stared off past her, her eyes glistening once again.


	5. Long Nights and Bloody Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Well thanks to some reader support, I became motivated to develop a full outline and start writing this again! Hopefully it'll pick up some more readers too despite the dark atmosphere, but at long last here's chapter 5!_

Maa-chan woke up to shouting outside the tent, though she couldn’t make out any words. She moaned, pulling the fraying blanket tighter around her. It would be cold if she wasn’t wrapped well, since her only clothing was the thin underwear which was the most Mai-chan let her wear in their tent. Still, it at least gave her some covering and an illusion of protection when she was allowed this much. 

It was light outside, but she wondered how much sleep she’d gotten since the girl had kept her awake most of the night. She felt relieved that she was alone now, though it did come at the expense of a warm body beside her. 

She wondered how the girl managed it, and was a bit sickeningly impressed. Mai was of course awake as much of the night as herself, and often was gone when she woke. She didn’t understand where the energy came from, though the girl certainly must have had better training than her experiences after being in that cellar for so long. The thought of the cellar made her remember Riho and Ayumi again, though the memory felt so distant now it was like it was someone else’s life.

There was a rustle at the tent flap, and Maa-chan half-opened an eye to see Mai ducking inside with a smile. “Get up, sweetie!” she said, leaning down for a quick kiss before beginning to gather her things. “Rina and I found a new mark out scouting this morning, and Nakajima-sama’s set Tomo to rounding us all up to head out for the attack. I think this might be the day they let you help in the ambush!”

Maa-chan groaned. Her nights since she found herself with these girls had seemed endless, but the worst part was still when they found a “mark” as they called it to prey on and rob. Sometimes there was no resistance, but usually Mai or Rina had to shoot an arrow into one or two of the targeted women or girls to enforce their will. Occasionally it was worse and the rest had to get up close and personal. Sometimes Oda or the tyrant did it without the need, just for fun.

“Come on, silly, get up!” Mai sang again, and threw some clothes at her head. “I don’t want her to have to come in here again.”

With another soft groan Maa-chan finally pulled herself up, and grabbed the clothes. However degraded the things she did in here with Mai made her feel, the tent at least gave her refuge from the rest. Mai at least did what she did out of something she thought was love, and Maachan came to understand it was never out of a desire to cause her pain. For some of the others, pain was what they reveled in.

She glanced down at the clothes in her hands. At first she had been embarrassed at what Mai gave her to wear every day - a short skirt and blouse with a ribbon in the style of a girls’ school uniform from before the war. It stood in sharp contrast to the gritty, environmentally-appropriate garb the rest war - thick pants, shirts and jackets, if a bit tattered. Mai said she wanted her baby to look cute at all times, though nothing seemed to make the girl happier than when she got to take them off.

In almost no time, the routine practiced very often, they had their gear together and the tent stowed, and Maa-chan was following Mai and the others down narrow paths between rubble toward this mark they’d found. She did her best to fix her eyes on Mai’s back in an attempt to forget the rest of the girls surrounding them. 

“Sato-san?” a small voice spoke from beside her. A chuckle came in response from further away. Maa-chan fixed her eyes harder on the back of the girl in front of her. Some of new new companions were surely evil, but there were others like Manaka who were almost friendly toward her. This girl was another of those who tried to act pleasant to her, though she was also the one which perhaps hurt her most aside from Oda, since she was the other one she knew the best.

“Give it up, Nonaka,” Rena said in a tired voice. “She’s never talked to you yet, so I doubt she’ll talk now.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to talk to them,” Mai said, giving a glance back to her. “You’re gonna get tired of just my company all the time, after all.” She grinned before looking back ahead at their path. 

“I’m tired of your company and I look at your face maybe twice a day,” Manaka chided, earning a cool glare in return. Maa-chan moved her eyes for the first time also to the girl, who gave her a supportive smile in return. The corners of her own mouth flickered, but she didn’t know if she could ever actually make herself smile again. It was against her better judgment with what they’d all been complicit to do to her, but sometimes she almost felt warm to the older girl as if she were the only one left in the world who seemed to actually give some care to her well-being. Well, she supposed Mai must as well, in her own mind at least, thinking she was all that kept her from being literally tortured every night. 

“Yo, Leader,” Mai called up ahead, “You think Maa-chan might be ready for a weapon this time? I think it’s pretty obvious she’s one of us now, and from what I saw we might need all hands on deck for this mark.”

Nakajima glanced back, but it was the girl beside her with a wicked axe on her back who responded. “You think so?” she said, looking Maa-chan up and down. Maa-chan flicked her eyes back to the girl she followed. “She’s still all skin and bones, not to mention looking more a porn star than a fighter in that getup. Maybe you should break off the end of your big stick there, Nonaka. I’m not sure she could handle any more than that. What have you been feeding her anyway?”

“I can tell you what she’s been feeding her,” Rina chortled, and Maa-chan caught her grinning back at Mai. “I bet that even involves some sticks and rods, too.”

“You’re gross,” Miki said, and Maa-chan stiffened as she felt the girl step toward her. “Don’t pay any attention to them,” she said, patting Maa-chan lightly on the shoulder. 

“You all better be careful,” Mai said lazily, “Or I’ll think you’re trying to hit on my girl.”

“Hey,” Oda said from ahead, and the sound of her steps quickened as she ran ahead of them. “We’re getting close.”

“Ok, everyone!” Nakajima called. “Search your positions!”

Miki ran ahead with Rena to join those in the lead, while Rina and Mai lifted their bows and looked to either side for vantage. When Mai came to a decision and started off, Maa-chan automatically followed. Mai’s and Rina’s job was to give sniper support, so it was convenient for Maa-chan to just stay with her out of the way while still being watched over. 

After climbing some broken stairs, Mai crept along a balcony until she found her spot, and peered down the road ahead. Maa-chan wondered if she wanted to see what poor fools were walking to their doom this time, and eventually decided to peer above the railing herself. 

_“Shit…”_ the girl said under her breath. “I think I was wrong.” She glanced down to see the rest of their band spreading out along the road, shifting their weapons in hand. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she called down, just loud enough for the others to hear. A few glanced up. “There’s a lot of them, well-armed, and they almost seem to be like… in formation.” She glanced back down the road and squinted her eyes in the morning light. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“We keep to the plan,” Nakajima said below. “Only improvise if it becomes necessary.”

“Good,” the tyrant said, hefting her axe. “It’s been too long since we’ve had some real good, clean violence.”

“I don’t mind bashing some heads,” Rena said, glancing to Nakajima while cracking her knuckles under their metal bands, “But we knew a time might come when we’d be overmatched. I’d rather that not be today.”

As the company drew nearer, Maa-chan’s eyes widened. Mai wasn’t wrong - this was certainly unlike anything at least she’d seen before. The oncoming group was arrayed in what looked like a ‘V’ formation ahead of a half-dozen horses trailing in a line, and although there were slight differences their outfits were generally uniform. In fact they reminded Maa-chan of soldiers, if in a slightly gaudier style, reminiscent of old anime. Each wore a dark long jacket, pants, and boots, and Maa-chan wasn’t sure at first if they were actually women since most didn’t seem to have long hair hanging down either. They appeared too short for men, though.

There were about a dozen of them in all, a troupe larger than most of the roving nomads, and about twice the size of their own band. Each was also tidily armed with various weapons slung over their shoulders or sheathed at their belts. The one in the lead at the point was short and had a medium-sized katana hanging from the waist. She wore a cloak wrapped around one shoulder along with a crowned hat rather than the berets most of the others wore. She could also see what looked like three stars on the hat, along with some other symbols. The person near her side also had three stars and a crowned hat, but the others seemed to have fewer symbols or none at all on their berets. 

She noticed some drops of sweat beading at Mai’s forehead as she knocked and pulled an arrow tight, and glanced down to the stirs of the girls below, some of whom seemed to start feeling anxious.

“Ho there!” Nakajima called out when the oncoming troupe came in range. Her voice was strong, but Maa-chan knew her well enough by now to detect some slight uncertainty in her voice. “You’re just about the prettiest things I’ve seen around here since the sky caught fire.”

After marching a few more steps, the cloaked figure raised an arm and the troupe came to a halt. Sensing Mai’s unease beside her Maa-chan’s mind blanked in fear at the situation. Their ambushes usually worked, even against groups larger than their own, but this was something new and unprecedented. For the first time she actually feared for her life, and wondered if that prospect made her terrified or relieved.

The oncomers stared back silently at the girls in the street, though a few of them fondled the handles of the weapons they carried. Nakajima glanced around at her companions and cleared her throat before calling out again. “Ok then. Well, if you’ll just give us any food and water and purity pills you’re carrying, we’ll be on our way.” After eyeing the tidy bunch as well as the horses behind, she added, “Some of those fancy clothes and weapons and whatever else you have back there wouldn’t be amiss either.” 

Maa-chan blinked down at the woman. Surely she couldn’t be serious? Even if they were to somehow overcome these people, how would they even carry all that stuff? Take the horses too? The fear rose higher in her stomach.

“Looks just like another filthy bunch of raiders,” the other three-starred girl beside the leader said to her companion in a low, almost whiny voice. That one certainly couldn’t sound much more feminine. “Let’s send Kudo and her girls to take them out.” A few of the soldiers behind her loosened their weapons in their holsters. 

However, the leader kept staring thoughtfully back at Nakajima and her five companions for a moment before glancing up to the opposite side from Mai and Maa-chan, and then up toward them. Mai pulled back, ducking further behind the railing. Then the leader took a couple steps forward. Nakajima’s crew raised their weapons. 

“You’re outnumbered and overmatched,” the leader said in a husky feminine voice. “Drop your weapons and we’ll treat you well as prisoners, and maybe even find you a job in the City.”

“I’ve had enough of this,” Oda said from beside Nakajima, and raised her rapier to charge forward. The tyrant yelled out and ran after her with brandished axe, and the others started running behind. 

The charge would seem reckless, but this was according to their battle plan, and the expected sniper support from Mai and Rina was intended to soften their quarry. However, as Mai rose up to fire, an arrow came whizzing at them from some vantage farther along that must have been similar to their own. Mai fell back, stumbling to the wall behind them, and the arrow sliced past Maa-chan’s ear before flying off beyond them. _“Aaah!”_ Maa-chan squealed at the sudden sting from the side of her head, and she fell down to the floor to hold it tightly.

“Maa-chan!” Mai cried, and darted a furious look in the direction of the arrow before dashing off along the balcony toward it. Soon she disappeared into the ruins beyond. Maa-chan, wincing in pain, crawled the other way back to the stairs and down a few steps for better shielding from their attackers. The railing wasn’t solid here, and she could see what was developing below. 

Oda hadn’t made it to the leader; the other three-starred girl had apparently jumped forward and engaged her rapier with long daggers of her own. Three others had come up to meet the tyrant’s wide axe swings with swords and a spear of their own, and Manaka, Rena, and Miki were blurs in their own pitched battle with the rest.

Nakajima slipped forward, carefully evading the ongoing fights in an attempt to reach the leader, who was for the moment shielded in the back. The imposing if somewhat diminutive woman threw her cloak back and drew her sword with a ring, and the morning sunlight glinted off the clean blade. When Nakajima cleared the others, she bore down on the woman who met Nakajima’s flashing blade with her own. They parried a couple swings before at a gasp the opposing leader leapt back.

“Nacky?” she exclaimed bewildered. The fighting around them paused, many of the combatants still engaged with each other, but now they peered into each others’ faces uncertainly. 

Nakajima raised her sword for another strike, but paused at the voice. “...Chisato?” she asked, but at that moment an arrow hurtled in from the side not far forward from Maa-chan’s position and caught the uniformed woman in the chest, knocking her back and down to the ground.

_“NOOO!!"_ screamed the other three-starred girl, who threw Oda aside and pointed in the direction of the archer. A few of the others broke off and rushed in that direction, and another arrow whizzed over Maa-chan’s head just like the first one, causing her to cry out and fall back, tumbling the rest of the way down the stairs into a pile of rubble. 

After curling tightly into a painful ball for a time as the clash of battle had resumed beyond her, Maa-chan eventually heard strained shouts and footfalls rush past back in the direction they had originally come as well as a faint _“Maa-chan!”_ call that disappeared back into the distance. When the sound of boots faded as well, she pulled herself out of the rubble of stone and wood, and tried to take in her surroundings. She couldn’t see anyone in the direction everyone seemed to be running, but when she turned around three of the uniformed soldiers neared her with bladed weapons pointed her way, and all but one with a star on their berets.

Maa-chan felt her breathing stop as the girls warily approached her, but finding her without a weapon grabbed her arms. “We got one!” one of the starred girls called out in a husky voice that almost sounded boyish. 

“Bring her here!” came another girl’s voice from up where the main battle had taken place. Maa-chan was now realizing that despite the uniforms and short hair, these must be all women and girls just like any other band they’d come across. As the the three around her parted to begin dragging her forward, she caught a glimpse of the one who’d ordered her brought up standing solemnly above another knelt down beside what she thought must be the leader since the tail of an arrow stuck up from her chest. The kneeling girl had her hat off and head bowed, revealing hair just past shoulder length, and seemed to be holding tightly onto her fallen companion. 

As she stumbled along, Maa-chan glanced up to one of the soldiers who held her and gasped, sudden recognition shocking her to her core. _“Duu…….?”_ she breathed, and saw confusion in the other’s eyes before fainting dead away.


End file.
